Dear Me....

After 3 long years, I am happy to say I DID IT! I finally reached the weight loss goal I set for myself back in January of 2009. I wish I could go back to that time and reassure myself that things would work out the way I wanted them to. I want to go back and tell that person that she is NOT crazy for thinking that she can lose 54 lbs.

I think back to my days at my old gym, when I first started their EXPENSIVE weight loss program. I was asked to set goals for myself. My short term goal was to lose 20 lbs. My long term goals were to pass the police PREP and reach 160 lbs. I knocked out the 20 lbs in no time, and the police PREP was done in under a year. I trained hard and reached those goals, and went beyond them, but never made it to my other goal. Today, I changed that.

For the last 11 weeks, I have stuck to a solid diet, eating more than I ever have before, I trained hard every time that I went to he gym, and I let go of my excuses. With the crazy, awesome, amazing, excellent, undying knowledge and guidance of my wickedly fit, super wonderful, trainer, roomie, and friend, (was that nice enough? You gotta send people a big time shout out once in a while.) Ange, I have smashed this daunting goal. I have to throw out big thank you's to her because I can SOMETIMES be difficult to work with, and because I'm not exactly sure that I could have done it without the extra push from my friend and training partner. Even though she's "hard as nails" it's  only for the benefit of the people around her and she's always there to help when any friend or family member needs her. So thanks Ange, you rock the fitness and friendship world! Thanks to all of my friends who have encouraged me in this whole crazy thing. There are too many people to mention, but trust me, I never forget the TRUE heartfelt compliments, questions, words of encouragement, or just being a good friend.

To myself, I think back to the days of being overweight and unhealthy and having no idea what to do about it. I was scared to do anything for fear of failure. I think back to being that person and it fills my heart with sadness. I wish this version of me could go back and help the old me to see that we'll be alright. I want to tell her that I'm proud of her for her efforts and taking the first steps in becoming a healthier person and let her know that it won't be easy, but for every step forward you take, you get closer to being healthy and strong and it gets more and more worth it. I also want to tell her that this road will be full of nay-sayers, people who will question your motivation or reasons for putting yourself first, and those who will try to make you feel guilty for that. Screw those people. In the end, those people don't care about you. They're unhappy with themselves and misery truly does love company, but you're better than that! Just be you and strive for your best. It's in you, keep pushing and you'll see it.

So today I reached a long overdue goal. It was a long time coming and it felt great. I hope that this can help someone else to reach for their goals. I know it's never easy, but it's not supposed to be. Take the first steps, ask for help, be serious about your own health. I can tell you certainly that there is no food (not even poutines, pizza, pasta, chocolate....) that taste better than being healthy feels! I also hope that if there are any young girls reading this, they can see that being healthy is really important. It's not about numbers on the scale. Be your best you, be strong and be confident. You're worth it.

Today, I am writing to me and for me.
Dear Me,
Good work so far. Keep it up. Don't settle for anything less than your best. You know your best is probably pretty awesome, so keep going. Push your limits and reach your potential. Failure is not an option. Go above and beyond your own wildest dreams. Keep knowing that you are great and so are those you surround yourself with.Who knows what you're going to accomplish next!


Keep making me proud,
ME

Back By Popular Demand....

I havn't blogged in a long time... so long in fact, that I just assumed that no one would care if I just stopped blogging all together. I mean, no one wants to read it anymore.... It's just been too long.

Then a funny thing happened. I was at Bossy's yesterday, and my friend Taylor came in for lunch. She and her cousin Brittany were sitting at a table reviewing the menu, so I went over and sat down to chat. We were catching up on how things are going in eachother's lives and what not, so when the conversation was over, I said I had to go, I was just going to head to the gym. Taylor looked at me and said, "You look really good Boss. How is all that going?" I told her things were going great. I was on track, thanked her for her compliment and was getting set to leave when she said "Why haven't you been blogging? I miss reading your blogs and I liked keeping up with your progress." She told me that she had been talking over the weekend with another one of my friends who used to read the blog prety faithfully and that both were disappointed that I stopped writing. "I should get a good blog going..." was my response. She looked at me, sort of puzzled and said, "You already have a good blog going. Just keep writing."

So Taylor, thanks for the inspiration yesterday. It's nice to know that people are still talking about my blog and that there's still an interest in reading. For anyone who cares, I weighed in at 172.4 lbs on January 14, 2012. This morning I weighed myself and sit at 161.9 lbs. 10.5 lbs in 10.5 weeks. I'm definitely not winning The Biggest Loser, but I'm not losing any muscle, only fat (I hope it's all fat....)

With only 4.5 more weeks to go until Jamaica, I'm turning it up a little and hoping that small things will mean the big difference. The Fitness Guru (who just happens to be my roomie, Angela DeFrancesco) says drinking more water will help me big time, since my water intake is not as high as it should be. You will now see me toting around a 1.5L water bottle in an effort to be better hydrated. Portion sizes are the next thing to tackle. My diet has been pretty clean so far aside from the occasional (well deserved) cheat, so just trimming down the portion size and getting in meals more often is goal number 2. Next is trimming away my beloved nuts and dried fruit. I put walnuts and dried cranberries in my salad. It makes me happy. Today, I say so long.... it's not goodbye, just ciao for now... *tear* Salads just won't be the same without you...

1.9 lbs until I reach my first goal. It's kinda scary for me... I don't know why, but I get nervous when I get really close to it. I usually allow myself to cheat and move away from it, but this time, I'm busting down doors!

I'm hoping to meet that goal this week, but the number isn't what is important, it's that people are noticing a change. It's sometimes hard for me to see it myself, but I have to say, it's nice to go into stores and try things on and everything fits! Even if it's ugly, it sill fits and that's an amazing feeling and something that I haven't had in a long time.

At the end of this, I feel like getting back at it and blogging like I used to is just the same as getting back to the gym, or back to healthy diet...I can do those things, so I will keep you posted on my journey. I hope everyone reading this who has told me it's been inspirational to them is also doing well. If not, get your ASS off the computer, and haul it to the gym... You'll love your results when you push your limits!

The Pain...

Lance Armstrong beat cancer. He's now very famous for his LIVESTRONG campaign and for the saying "Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever." I hate this saying everyday. Today, I hate it more than most days.

I have pain everyday, as I'm sure a lot of people do. Mine has been long lasting, so far undiagnosed, hard core, never quitting PAIN! A few years ago while training, I heard a POP in my foot, and it has never been the same. Over three years of constant pain in my ankles and feet have lead to back pain, knee pain, and many many days of frustration.

I'm not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me. That is never my intention. I work through the pain. When I hear that pain is temporary, it only fuels my anger and my need to beat the pain. I don't quit, but not because quitting lasts forever, just because it's not in me to quit.

On days that my pain is worse than others, I'm hard to talk to, hard to deal with, quiet.... Not because I want to be, but because on some of these days, I let the pain take over. I'm working my hardest to make those days go away. You see, being difficult and pissed off doesn't make me feel better. It's quite the opposite actually. 

For the last three days I have allowed my pain to consume my mood. Some could say I have done this because the pain has been worse in the last three days than it has been in a very long time. It's unexplained as to why these flare ups happen, but I'm working on my reaction to them. If I can't control my pain, I have to control the way I deal with it. I won't allow it to take over my day to day life...

I have resigned myself to the fact that pain is inevitable for me on most days. Although sometimes it's worse than others, it's always on my mind. I'm always cautious of what I'm doing or how I'm moving to try to keep it to a minimum, but it's always there. The suffering is the part that doesn't have to be there. I have worked through my pain before and can do it again, but I only suffer from it when I allow it to take over my life OUTSIDE of it.

I make my own decisions on how I act. I will decide when I get to go to the gym. I will decide when I get to go out with my friends. I won't allow myself to be brought down by something I haven't found a way to control yet.

Everyday I get a little better at dealing with this ongoing pain. I have some slip ups when it gets unexpectedly worse, and to those who have felt the backlash of this, I'm sorry. I'm working on it. To those of you who understand what I mean, I'm sorry too.... Pain is not  fun thing to deal with, but don't let it consume you. Be you, be strong, and get better... Maybe the pain won't get better, but you can get better at how you deal with it. Taking out your frustration by being mad at yourself or others doesn't help. I'm a pro at doing that, and it only makes things worse....



Give yourself credit where it is due. Small steps forward are still steps in the right direction. I bet if you dig deep enough, you'll find out that you're stronger than you think. Kick the ass of the pain. Get stronger everyday, and one day, maybe we can find out that pain IS temporary.

PinK Will Never Be The Same...

First thing's first... this is not the right colour of pink. The pink that I wanted to write in is the pink you can only find in a highlighter or a 2011 Arnold Amateur Figure Class A Champion's jacket! The bright pink I'm talking about always reminds me of a really fun day, the day Ange won the Arnold.

The Arnold is a super sized fitness event of epic proportions. I'm not even sure that statement makes any sense, but this thing is massive and excellent. Every fitness vendor in the universe is there along with all sorts of fitness superstars. Pro football players,MMA guys, bodybuilders, pro table tennis people.... it's nuts and last year, I got to go.

As I started telling everyone in my last post, my friend Sherri and I packed up and took off for Columbus, Ohio last year on a Thursday. We went to see our friend Angela DeFrancesco compete in the Arnold Classic Figure competition.

For those of you who aren't too sure about what it means exactly to compete in a figure competition, I found this handy definition.

When judging a figure competition the judges shall assess the athleticism of the physique. This is not a bodybuilding contest. A SMALL DEGREE OF MUSCULARITY WITH SEPARATION IS DESIRED, WITH NO VISIBLE STRIATIONS. The muscle tone should appear firm and round with a small amount of body fat over the muscle, and no excessive leanness. The figure competitions provide alternatives for athletic women who (a) Train. (b) Do not wish to gain muscle size and vascularity and (c) do not have a strong gymnastic / dance background. All Figure and Fitness competitors must have reached their eighteenth (18) birthday by the day of the contest.

The long and short of it is, you are supposed to be pretty, have good muscle tone, but not too much, and you will be judged on the symmetry of our muscles. I wasn't too sure about the exact criteria last year either, so just thought I'd throw it out there.

When we made it there, we went to the Convention Center and got to see the prejudging segment. Ange was first call out, which in regular talk, means the judges liked her best and she was favoured to win! Yay Ange!

The next day, Sherri and I got to experience the expo. SO much to see... Good thing I'm not shy or we never would have made it anywhere! We got a boat load of free stuff, met a ton of fitness celebs, and I finally got to meet Tosca Reno, the woman from Ontario whose book had inspired my new way of eating. Such an awesome day aside from the fact that Sherri and I both looked like drowned rats since it was pouring rain that day and we had to walk a good 20 minutes from our parking spot just to get in to the expo. Needless to say we both have a love/hate relationship with all of our pictures from that day. Don't judge.

After showing off all of our swag to Tammy and Ange, we made the decision to get up extra early and drive them both to the finals of the show the following day for 7AM. We did this because we are amazing friends, and because ProTan and rain don't mix. Our soon to be champ couldn't be seen on stage with a runny tan! We made it our duty to make sure Ange made it in to the show without so much as a drop of rain on her extra brown painted skin!

This included another wet day for us, but Tam, Sherri and I all knew, this day wasn't about any of us. The three of us got our muscled DOWN friend into her show without so much as a drop of rain grazing even a fingernail. Anyone who could have seen this transpire would have thought we were absolutely out of our minds. It was quite the process which ended up involving a driver, a door opener, an umbrella holder, a jacket holder in case of any splatter, a luggage carrier, and a lot of good luck! We made it! Ange mae it in, tan in tact! Success!

Sherri and I got our seats as soon as the expo opened at 8 AM. We were among the first people inside thanks to some sneakiness from yours truly. 3 seats saved for the show as Tammy would be meeting us after she helped with hair, make up and suit prep. We were all so excited to see our friend take the Arnold stage. We all had our cameras poised, when Tammy and I decided to take it ONE step further. Why not try to get into the press pit? Neither one of us is shy, so when we got stopped at the entrance, it didn't take very long until we were both finessing our way past security. Just a few pleas of how very excited we were to be seeing our friend on stage, a couple of promises to move if we were asked and we were in!

Ange came out first since she is in class "A", which is for girl's 5'1 and under. If there is a way to kill your competition in figure, it happened right on that stage, no joke. I know I wouldn't have wanted to be  any of the other girls sharing the stage with her that day!  They did all look great, but she OWNED it, slaying he other girls in her class with her spot on poses and identical muscles. We watched classes B through F and then they brought out the top five from class A to announce the winners.

Fifth place was given out, fourth, third... and what do you know? Our girl from little old Sault Ste Marie is still standing! Tammy was beside herself. I swear, I had no idea what was wrong with her, but she was tearing up. As I looked on stage, I could see Ange beginning to breathe a bit quicker and harder... not much is hidden in those suits, not even your breathing! At this time, I didn't know how insane it would be if Ange pulled out the win. AAAANNNND second place goes to.....


SOMEONE ELSE! That means Ange wins!!! Angela DeFrancesco of Sault Ste Marie is the 2011 Arnold Amauer figure Class A Champion. As this is being announced, we are cheering our faces off, Tammy is crying, and Ange is having her arms raised as high as they could go, and being crowned the champ! Seriously, awesome moment!

Then I get the text... it read something like, "Get up here. I have something to show you girls. I won a SIIIICK pink jacket." We all raced up to the area where the girls prep to meet our champ. This is how we were greeted:

 What happened next may be even more amazing then the win AND the jacket. After many congratulations and a little bit of chocolate, we were going to go check out the expo with Ange and Tammy. For anyone who knows Ange, this next part is shocking. She was going to head down to the expo dressed exactly as you see her in these pictures. Pants, suit top, and jacket. This is an individual who DOES NOT EVER show off her muscle. I tell her still to this day, I think she was drunk on winning. We went down to that expo, which had to have had at least 30, 000 people in it, and she paraded around booth to booth with a confidence I had never seen and a set of abs no one could compare to. It was amazing to see and so well deserved.

After a few booths and some fun things, I thought, shouldn't Tosca and the Oxygen team get to meet our newest champ from Ontario? Off to the Clean Eating booth we went. It didn't take long for Tosca to refer us to her hubby, and publisher of Oxygen magazine, Robert Kennedy. We had a blast with him and he told Ange that he hoped to see her in the pages of Oxygen. What an awesome day this was turning out to be! What's the only way such a perfect day can be capped off? An amazing dinner with great friends and even better wine of course!

We went to a great place and enjoyed steak, lobster, scallops, sea bass, calamari, and the best chocolate peanut butter ganache torte any person could ever dream of! The champagne, wine, and drinks were flowing, but the conversation and the friendship was the best part! Being able to celebrate such a huge accomplishment for such a good person with a few great girls will never be forgotten.

That was the first weekend I got to meet Tammy and we have become such great friends since then. Sherri and I got to bond even more over our 20 hrs or so of travel time and over our awesome experience at the expo. Ange and I got to be more of friends, rather than just client and personal trainer. It was a few days packed full of craziness, but I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's Arnold experience, that's for sure! The best part is that I got to add Tammy and Ange to my little group of good friends. At this point in my life, adding friends doesn't happen very often because I have such an awesome small, close group of good friends, but the exception had to be made for these guys! This week end for sure goes down as one of my best, not only for Ange's win, but for the incredible times had with now incredible friends. 

Although this year we couldn't make the trip, we had sushi and wine while Sherri, Ange and I watched the live stream of the show together. We were missing one of our soldiers, but we still  had a great night and planned a shopping trip for the 4 of us in the near future, which is sure to be a gongshow.  

So, PINK is not just for girls. It's just for champs!  Get it right! Congrats on the big win one year ago Ange! Sherri, Tammy and I will forever be cheering you on and getting you through the rainy days! 2012 is gonna be HUGE!