EaStER... The Re-Birth of the Son of God and of My BAD Eating Habits...

Easter is worse than Christmas for me. Sweeat treats, my cousin's amazing bridal shower, dinners, and REESE'S EGGS! How can a girl resist?

Easter was supposed to be my one ultimate cheat. I had it planned WEEKS in advance. Easter Sunday was the day I was going to allow myself to eat as many Reese's treats as I wanted... Crazy? I think so, considering I could pack away an entire peanut plantation if I really put my mind to it, but it was a dream of mine.

Long story short, my cheat day turned into a cheat weekend filled with turkey dinners, pasta al forno, ice cream cake, home made desserts, and REESE'S EGGS! I think I would have been able to handle all of the rest of it, but the eggs are like crack! It started out with the little wrapped ones, graduated to the personal size, then the big egg! Once you get that far, there's no turning back!

I had my fill of treats and was done with it Sunday night. I told myself that Monday was a new day. Party's over, back to reality! No problem, except when I woke up on Monday, my thoughts were consumed with Easter candy. I felt like I couldn't stop the cravings. All I could think about was eating junk. 

I once read that sugar is more addictive than cocaine...true or untrue? I cannot compare because I've only ever tried one of these, so all I have to say is good thing I've never tried cocaine because if I liked it half as much as I do the Reese's, I would be in deeeeeeep trouble!

So about a week went by where I ate less than perfectly before I snapped out of it... A WEEK! That's a biiiiiiig craving! My point in all of this is that sometimes it's really hard to get back on track. It's easy to allow ourselves the wonderful, decadent things in life... We all deserve it at least every once in a while! But it doesn't matter if it takes you one cheat day to be back on track, or 10... Just get back! Don't allow a few extra days of bad habits define you. Learn from your challenges and be better prepared next time! I know for myself, when the Reese's Pumpkins, Trees, Hearts, or any other little nugget of deliciousness shows up for the holiday season, I need to get my game face on to face off against it if I allow myself to indulge!

The things that we love to eat the most are sometimes the worst for us! So treat yourselves.... Get yourself a Reese's every once in a while, but beware... They're out to get you and they show no mercy! Be strong against your inner chocolate and peanut butter lover! Fight for your better body!! Don't let the Reese's of your life win!

For now, the tally is Reese's-1, Angela-0, but I'm looking to change that NEXT holiday season! Look out Halloween and the Pumpkins... I'm coming for ya!

A "Fat" Kid and a Stupid Mom

I want to start this off by saying that I will never EVER buy a copy of Vogue magazine in my life. I would say that I would never buy another copy of Vogue ever again, but I don't think I have ever purchased one to begin with, and maybe now I know why.

I was on Facebook one day, minding everyone else's business like you're supposed to on FB, when I came across a post from Jillian Michaels that asked that everyone read an article she had posted about a mother putting her 7 year old daughter on a diet, and to leave a comment about what we thought. So I read the article.

Let me first say that I do think that children should be fed a proper diet, which should be monitored and controlled by their parents. Kids don't even know how to wipe their own butts, let alone how to properly nourish themselves, so bravo to those parents who take the challenge and try to feed their children well balanced diets and attempt to avoid a lot of the regular junk that's out there. You guys rock! Teaching your children proper nutrition is just as important as teaching them their ABC's... Good work, awesome parents! Now I will tell you about this horrendous monster mom.

Dara-Lynn Weiss is a mother to a 7 year old girl. She wrote an article for Vogue titled "Weight Watchers," a chronicle of how she belittled her own child into losing 16lbs. At the age of 7, Weiss' daughter, Bea, was deemed "medically obese" at 4'4 and 93lbs.

When I was about to read this article, I really wanted to agree with it. I wanted it to be about a child who was put on a healthy diet by her mother. I wanted it to be about on how this woman focused on undoing the wrongs that she had taught her daughter diet-wise, in order for her to first become clinically obese. I was hoping that she would promote healthy eating, perhaps enforce a family fitness time or something, and I wanted it to end with the child having a new wealth of knowledge and wonderful new sense of self worth and pride for the fact that she had completed this challenge. If this is your hope, don't even bother looking this up.

This woman pretty much takes an innocent child, publicly humiliates her, teaches her how to eat if you're looking to be on a crash diet, massively restricts her calories, and teaches her how to starve herself, while also hating herself. She refers to her chld as "fat". I don't care who you are or what you think about this lady, that's down right mean. The word "fat" is a negative word. Here is an example of how this woman "helped" her daughter to lose 16 lbs.

I once reproachfully deprived Bea of her dinner after learning that her observation of French Heritage Day at school involved nearly 800 calories of Brie, filet mignon, baguette, and chocolate. I stopped letting her enjoy Pizza Fridays when she admitted to adding a corn salad as a side dish one week. I dressed down a Starbucks barista when he professed ignorance of the nutrition content of the kids’ hot chocolate whose calories are listed as “120-210″ on the menu board: Well, which is it? When he couldn’t provide an answer, I dramatically grabbed the drink out of my daughter’s hands, poured it into the garbage, and stormed out.

How would you feel if you were a 7 year old "fat" girl, who just had a drink ripped from her hands and poured in the garbage? I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that maybe doing these things is not in this little girls best interest. Depriving a child of dinner and causing public scenes is not the avenue that should be taken. But it's Weiss we should all feel sorry for. She explains that “It is grating to have someone constantly complain of being hungry, or refuse to eat what she’s supposed to, month after month.” PLEASE, give me a break! In my opinion, (and I know I don't  have any children of my own) a mother shouldn't be starving her child. If the child is hungry, provide healthy options for her. If she slipped up in her diet, maybe it's too strict for a 7 year old. A mother should correct these behaviours instead of punishing them. It's absolutely outrageous to me that a person would just tell a 7 year old little girl that she's not getting dinner because she participated in a class assignment and ate some brie. I don't understand how she doesn't see the psychological damage this would do to a young girl.

Not only was this published in Vogue, someone has offered this woman a book deal! It wasn't humiliating enough for this poor kid to have her mother write about her being fat (which her mother called her in the article... not my words) but now she is writing a book about all of this and it will be titled, "The Heavy". I bet that's gonna be a big hit for your daughter's self image, Dara-Lynn.

After a year of what Bea describes as "hell," she indeed lost the 16 lbs that she was required to lose by her mother, and was rewarded with new dresses. She says of herself, "That's still me. I'm not a different person because I lost 16lbs."  Dara-Lynn however, disagrees. "That fat girl is a thing of the past." Talk about giving a child a complex! 

Perhaps if I was a psychiatrist I would be happy about this article. I would hope that when this little girl gets old enough she would come to me for therapy. I'm sure at this rate, she'll be racking up quite the bill!

In the end, Weiss comes clean about her own dieting history and self image and writes,  "I have not ingested any food, looked at a restaurant menu, or been sick to the point of vomiting without silently launching a complicated mental algorithm about how it will affect my weight. Who was I to teach a little girl how to maintain a healthy weight and body image?"

IS IT JUST ME, OR IS THIS MAYBE A LITTLE SHORT FOR A 7 YEAR OLD?

I can tell you exactly who you were, THE WRONG PERSON! Parents, let this be a lesson to you take responsibility and teach your children proper nutrition. It all starts at home, but please also remember to be kind to your children. No person deserves to be treated this way, let alone a little, sweet, innocent, impressionable child. Childhood obesity is a serious epidemic and weight issues will be something that your child will suffer with for a lifetime, so teaching proper nutrition is a really big deal. Be good role models and teachers and give them treats too! They're kids, they deserve it. Most of all, be positive... They're always watching! As far as this little girl goes, I hope that she will turn out to be alright and know that she's worth more than her weight on the scale.

Also, if you just read this, please, for my sake, DO NOT go buy this issue of Vogue and encourage this nonsense. I haven't read the entire article because I can't find it online and I refuse to support this garbage, but there are many excerpts from the article available, and if you must read it, I'm sure you'll be able to find it where it belongs. In someone's trash!

There it is! My opinion for the day! Enjoy, and comment freely!

Dear Me....

After 3 long years, I am happy to say I DID IT! I finally reached the weight loss goal I set for myself back in January of 2009. I wish I could go back to that time and reassure myself that things would work out the way I wanted them to. I want to go back and tell that person that she is NOT crazy for thinking that she can lose 54 lbs.

I think back to my days at my old gym, when I first started their EXPENSIVE weight loss program. I was asked to set goals for myself. My short term goal was to lose 20 lbs. My long term goals were to pass the police PREP and reach 160 lbs. I knocked out the 20 lbs in no time, and the police PREP was done in under a year. I trained hard and reached those goals, and went beyond them, but never made it to my other goal. Today, I changed that.

For the last 11 weeks, I have stuck to a solid diet, eating more than I ever have before, I trained hard every time that I went to he gym, and I let go of my excuses. With the crazy, awesome, amazing, excellent, undying knowledge and guidance of my wickedly fit, super wonderful, trainer, roomie, and friend, (was that nice enough? You gotta send people a big time shout out once in a while.) Ange, I have smashed this daunting goal. I have to throw out big thank you's to her because I can SOMETIMES be difficult to work with, and because I'm not exactly sure that I could have done it without the extra push from my friend and training partner. Even though she's "hard as nails" it's  only for the benefit of the people around her and she's always there to help when any friend or family member needs her. So thanks Ange, you rock the fitness and friendship world! Thanks to all of my friends who have encouraged me in this whole crazy thing. There are too many people to mention, but trust me, I never forget the TRUE heartfelt compliments, questions, words of encouragement, or just being a good friend.

To myself, I think back to the days of being overweight and unhealthy and having no idea what to do about it. I was scared to do anything for fear of failure. I think back to being that person and it fills my heart with sadness. I wish this version of me could go back and help the old me to see that we'll be alright. I want to tell her that I'm proud of her for her efforts and taking the first steps in becoming a healthier person and let her know that it won't be easy, but for every step forward you take, you get closer to being healthy and strong and it gets more and more worth it. I also want to tell her that this road will be full of nay-sayers, people who will question your motivation or reasons for putting yourself first, and those who will try to make you feel guilty for that. Screw those people. In the end, those people don't care about you. They're unhappy with themselves and misery truly does love company, but you're better than that! Just be you and strive for your best. It's in you, keep pushing and you'll see it.

So today I reached a long overdue goal. It was a long time coming and it felt great. I hope that this can help someone else to reach for their goals. I know it's never easy, but it's not supposed to be. Take the first steps, ask for help, be serious about your own health. I can tell you certainly that there is no food (not even poutines, pizza, pasta, chocolate....) that taste better than being healthy feels! I also hope that if there are any young girls reading this, they can see that being healthy is really important. It's not about numbers on the scale. Be your best you, be strong and be confident. You're worth it.

Today, I am writing to me and for me.
Dear Me,
Good work so far. Keep it up. Don't settle for anything less than your best. You know your best is probably pretty awesome, so keep going. Push your limits and reach your potential. Failure is not an option. Go above and beyond your own wildest dreams. Keep knowing that you are great and so are those you surround yourself with.Who knows what you're going to accomplish next!


Keep making me proud,
ME

Back By Popular Demand....

I havn't blogged in a long time... so long in fact, that I just assumed that no one would care if I just stopped blogging all together. I mean, no one wants to read it anymore.... It's just been too long.

Then a funny thing happened. I was at Bossy's yesterday, and my friend Taylor came in for lunch. She and her cousin Brittany were sitting at a table reviewing the menu, so I went over and sat down to chat. We were catching up on how things are going in eachother's lives and what not, so when the conversation was over, I said I had to go, I was just going to head to the gym. Taylor looked at me and said, "You look really good Boss. How is all that going?" I told her things were going great. I was on track, thanked her for her compliment and was getting set to leave when she said "Why haven't you been blogging? I miss reading your blogs and I liked keeping up with your progress." She told me that she had been talking over the weekend with another one of my friends who used to read the blog prety faithfully and that both were disappointed that I stopped writing. "I should get a good blog going..." was my response. She looked at me, sort of puzzled and said, "You already have a good blog going. Just keep writing."

So Taylor, thanks for the inspiration yesterday. It's nice to know that people are still talking about my blog and that there's still an interest in reading. For anyone who cares, I weighed in at 172.4 lbs on January 14, 2012. This morning I weighed myself and sit at 161.9 lbs. 10.5 lbs in 10.5 weeks. I'm definitely not winning The Biggest Loser, but I'm not losing any muscle, only fat (I hope it's all fat....)

With only 4.5 more weeks to go until Jamaica, I'm turning it up a little and hoping that small things will mean the big difference. The Fitness Guru (who just happens to be my roomie, Angela DeFrancesco) says drinking more water will help me big time, since my water intake is not as high as it should be. You will now see me toting around a 1.5L water bottle in an effort to be better hydrated. Portion sizes are the next thing to tackle. My diet has been pretty clean so far aside from the occasional (well deserved) cheat, so just trimming down the portion size and getting in meals more often is goal number 2. Next is trimming away my beloved nuts and dried fruit. I put walnuts and dried cranberries in my salad. It makes me happy. Today, I say so long.... it's not goodbye, just ciao for now... *tear* Salads just won't be the same without you...

1.9 lbs until I reach my first goal. It's kinda scary for me... I don't know why, but I get nervous when I get really close to it. I usually allow myself to cheat and move away from it, but this time, I'm busting down doors!

I'm hoping to meet that goal this week, but the number isn't what is important, it's that people are noticing a change. It's sometimes hard for me to see it myself, but I have to say, it's nice to go into stores and try things on and everything fits! Even if it's ugly, it sill fits and that's an amazing feeling and something that I haven't had in a long time.

At the end of this, I feel like getting back at it and blogging like I used to is just the same as getting back to the gym, or back to healthy diet...I can do those things, so I will keep you posted on my journey. I hope everyone reading this who has told me it's been inspirational to them is also doing well. If not, get your ASS off the computer, and haul it to the gym... You'll love your results when you push your limits!

The Pain...

Lance Armstrong beat cancer. He's now very famous for his LIVESTRONG campaign and for the saying "Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever." I hate this saying everyday. Today, I hate it more than most days.

I have pain everyday, as I'm sure a lot of people do. Mine has been long lasting, so far undiagnosed, hard core, never quitting PAIN! A few years ago while training, I heard a POP in my foot, and it has never been the same. Over three years of constant pain in my ankles and feet have lead to back pain, knee pain, and many many days of frustration.

I'm not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me. That is never my intention. I work through the pain. When I hear that pain is temporary, it only fuels my anger and my need to beat the pain. I don't quit, but not because quitting lasts forever, just because it's not in me to quit.

On days that my pain is worse than others, I'm hard to talk to, hard to deal with, quiet.... Not because I want to be, but because on some of these days, I let the pain take over. I'm working my hardest to make those days go away. You see, being difficult and pissed off doesn't make me feel better. It's quite the opposite actually. 

For the last three days I have allowed my pain to consume my mood. Some could say I have done this because the pain has been worse in the last three days than it has been in a very long time. It's unexplained as to why these flare ups happen, but I'm working on my reaction to them. If I can't control my pain, I have to control the way I deal with it. I won't allow it to take over my day to day life...

I have resigned myself to the fact that pain is inevitable for me on most days. Although sometimes it's worse than others, it's always on my mind. I'm always cautious of what I'm doing or how I'm moving to try to keep it to a minimum, but it's always there. The suffering is the part that doesn't have to be there. I have worked through my pain before and can do it again, but I only suffer from it when I allow it to take over my life OUTSIDE of it.

I make my own decisions on how I act. I will decide when I get to go to the gym. I will decide when I get to go out with my friends. I won't allow myself to be brought down by something I haven't found a way to control yet.

Everyday I get a little better at dealing with this ongoing pain. I have some slip ups when it gets unexpectedly worse, and to those who have felt the backlash of this, I'm sorry. I'm working on it. To those of you who understand what I mean, I'm sorry too.... Pain is not  fun thing to deal with, but don't let it consume you. Be you, be strong, and get better... Maybe the pain won't get better, but you can get better at how you deal with it. Taking out your frustration by being mad at yourself or others doesn't help. I'm a pro at doing that, and it only makes things worse....



Give yourself credit where it is due. Small steps forward are still steps in the right direction. I bet if you dig deep enough, you'll find out that you're stronger than you think. Kick the ass of the pain. Get stronger everyday, and one day, maybe we can find out that pain IS temporary.

PinK Will Never Be The Same...

First thing's first... this is not the right colour of pink. The pink that I wanted to write in is the pink you can only find in a highlighter or a 2011 Arnold Amateur Figure Class A Champion's jacket! The bright pink I'm talking about always reminds me of a really fun day, the day Ange won the Arnold.

The Arnold is a super sized fitness event of epic proportions. I'm not even sure that statement makes any sense, but this thing is massive and excellent. Every fitness vendor in the universe is there along with all sorts of fitness superstars. Pro football players,MMA guys, bodybuilders, pro table tennis people.... it's nuts and last year, I got to go.

As I started telling everyone in my last post, my friend Sherri and I packed up and took off for Columbus, Ohio last year on a Thursday. We went to see our friend Angela DeFrancesco compete in the Arnold Classic Figure competition.

For those of you who aren't too sure about what it means exactly to compete in a figure competition, I found this handy definition.

When judging a figure competition the judges shall assess the athleticism of the physique. This is not a bodybuilding contest. A SMALL DEGREE OF MUSCULARITY WITH SEPARATION IS DESIRED, WITH NO VISIBLE STRIATIONS. The muscle tone should appear firm and round with a small amount of body fat over the muscle, and no excessive leanness. The figure competitions provide alternatives for athletic women who (a) Train. (b) Do not wish to gain muscle size and vascularity and (c) do not have a strong gymnastic / dance background. All Figure and Fitness competitors must have reached their eighteenth (18) birthday by the day of the contest.

The long and short of it is, you are supposed to be pretty, have good muscle tone, but not too much, and you will be judged on the symmetry of our muscles. I wasn't too sure about the exact criteria last year either, so just thought I'd throw it out there.

When we made it there, we went to the Convention Center and got to see the prejudging segment. Ange was first call out, which in regular talk, means the judges liked her best and she was favoured to win! Yay Ange!

The next day, Sherri and I got to experience the expo. SO much to see... Good thing I'm not shy or we never would have made it anywhere! We got a boat load of free stuff, met a ton of fitness celebs, and I finally got to meet Tosca Reno, the woman from Ontario whose book had inspired my new way of eating. Such an awesome day aside from the fact that Sherri and I both looked like drowned rats since it was pouring rain that day and we had to walk a good 20 minutes from our parking spot just to get in to the expo. Needless to say we both have a love/hate relationship with all of our pictures from that day. Don't judge.

After showing off all of our swag to Tammy and Ange, we made the decision to get up extra early and drive them both to the finals of the show the following day for 7AM. We did this because we are amazing friends, and because ProTan and rain don't mix. Our soon to be champ couldn't be seen on stage with a runny tan! We made it our duty to make sure Ange made it in to the show without so much as a drop of rain on her extra brown painted skin!

This included another wet day for us, but Tam, Sherri and I all knew, this day wasn't about any of us. The three of us got our muscled DOWN friend into her show without so much as a drop of rain grazing even a fingernail. Anyone who could have seen this transpire would have thought we were absolutely out of our minds. It was quite the process which ended up involving a driver, a door opener, an umbrella holder, a jacket holder in case of any splatter, a luggage carrier, and a lot of good luck! We made it! Ange mae it in, tan in tact! Success!

Sherri and I got our seats as soon as the expo opened at 8 AM. We were among the first people inside thanks to some sneakiness from yours truly. 3 seats saved for the show as Tammy would be meeting us after she helped with hair, make up and suit prep. We were all so excited to see our friend take the Arnold stage. We all had our cameras poised, when Tammy and I decided to take it ONE step further. Why not try to get into the press pit? Neither one of us is shy, so when we got stopped at the entrance, it didn't take very long until we were both finessing our way past security. Just a few pleas of how very excited we were to be seeing our friend on stage, a couple of promises to move if we were asked and we were in!

Ange came out first since she is in class "A", which is for girl's 5'1 and under. If there is a way to kill your competition in figure, it happened right on that stage, no joke. I know I wouldn't have wanted to be  any of the other girls sharing the stage with her that day!  They did all look great, but she OWNED it, slaying he other girls in her class with her spot on poses and identical muscles. We watched classes B through F and then they brought out the top five from class A to announce the winners.

Fifth place was given out, fourth, third... and what do you know? Our girl from little old Sault Ste Marie is still standing! Tammy was beside herself. I swear, I had no idea what was wrong with her, but she was tearing up. As I looked on stage, I could see Ange beginning to breathe a bit quicker and harder... not much is hidden in those suits, not even your breathing! At this time, I didn't know how insane it would be if Ange pulled out the win. AAAANNNND second place goes to.....


SOMEONE ELSE! That means Ange wins!!! Angela DeFrancesco of Sault Ste Marie is the 2011 Arnold Amauer figure Class A Champion. As this is being announced, we are cheering our faces off, Tammy is crying, and Ange is having her arms raised as high as they could go, and being crowned the champ! Seriously, awesome moment!

Then I get the text... it read something like, "Get up here. I have something to show you girls. I won a SIIIICK pink jacket." We all raced up to the area where the girls prep to meet our champ. This is how we were greeted:

 What happened next may be even more amazing then the win AND the jacket. After many congratulations and a little bit of chocolate, we were going to go check out the expo with Ange and Tammy. For anyone who knows Ange, this next part is shocking. She was going to head down to the expo dressed exactly as you see her in these pictures. Pants, suit top, and jacket. This is an individual who DOES NOT EVER show off her muscle. I tell her still to this day, I think she was drunk on winning. We went down to that expo, which had to have had at least 30, 000 people in it, and she paraded around booth to booth with a confidence I had never seen and a set of abs no one could compare to. It was amazing to see and so well deserved.

After a few booths and some fun things, I thought, shouldn't Tosca and the Oxygen team get to meet our newest champ from Ontario? Off to the Clean Eating booth we went. It didn't take long for Tosca to refer us to her hubby, and publisher of Oxygen magazine, Robert Kennedy. We had a blast with him and he told Ange that he hoped to see her in the pages of Oxygen. What an awesome day this was turning out to be! What's the only way such a perfect day can be capped off? An amazing dinner with great friends and even better wine of course!

We went to a great place and enjoyed steak, lobster, scallops, sea bass, calamari, and the best chocolate peanut butter ganache torte any person could ever dream of! The champagne, wine, and drinks were flowing, but the conversation and the friendship was the best part! Being able to celebrate such a huge accomplishment for such a good person with a few great girls will never be forgotten.

That was the first weekend I got to meet Tammy and we have become such great friends since then. Sherri and I got to bond even more over our 20 hrs or so of travel time and over our awesome experience at the expo. Ange and I got to be more of friends, rather than just client and personal trainer. It was a few days packed full of craziness, but I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's Arnold experience, that's for sure! The best part is that I got to add Tammy and Ange to my little group of good friends. At this point in my life, adding friends doesn't happen very often because I have such an awesome small, close group of good friends, but the exception had to be made for these guys! This week end for sure goes down as one of my best, not only for Ange's win, but for the incredible times had with now incredible friends. 

Although this year we couldn't make the trip, we had sushi and wine while Sherri, Ange and I watched the live stream of the show together. We were missing one of our soldiers, but we still  had a great night and planned a shopping trip for the 4 of us in the near future, which is sure to be a gongshow.  

So, PINK is not just for girls. It's just for champs!  Get it right! Congrats on the big win one year ago Ange! Sherri, Tammy and I will forever be cheering you on and getting you through the rainy days! 2012 is gonna be HUGE!

The Arnold is Coming!!!

I can't believe it's here again! Last year at this time, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I agreed to go on a trip with my friend Sherri to see my trainer, Ange compete in the Arnold Classic. She would be travelling with her friend Tammy, whom I had never even met before. Not to mention, I had only ever been to a figure show once in my life and it was when I was 15, here in the Sault to watch my friend Christina compete... I can now tell you, this was not at all the same.

I had been training with Ange for a few months when she told me she wouldn't be able to train me for a week in March because she would be competing in the Arnold Classic in Columbus, Ohio. I thought this was great. Go to Columbus and win a show. That's how it works. I just thought Ange's physique was above and beyond anything anyone else could do.... the thought never even crossed my mind that she ever lost. The only knowledge I had of her experience was that she won the WBFF World Championships, which to me, logically meant she was voted best body in the world, and that she was a kick ass personal trainer. When Ange nonchalantly told me she was going to compete in this show, my thought was, ROAD TRIP maybe I should go watch.

After a short conference with Sherri, we were in. She was super excited and couldn't believe that I would choose such a phenomenal event to be my first real show watching experience. All I knew was that I was going to go watch my friend win the Arnold. What more did I need to know? How crazy could this be?

People kept telling me how amazing it was that I would be going to the Arnold and getting to see a real Pro Show. The whole time I thought to  myself, "We probably won't even go. Why would I want  to go see some other girls compete. We'll watch Ange, then head out for drinks and dinner. Solid trip."

Boy was I wrong. This is the mecca of sporting events! Over 16000 athletes compete in events from Stongman to table tennis, to armwrestling and crossfit, fitness, figure and bodybuilding, kids boxing.... You name it, it's in this massive complex of athleticism! It's amazing. Over 130000 people attend the Arnold each year!

I went to the prejudging for the amateur fitness, figure and bikini on Thursday night to watch Ange. We had to walk for about 10 minutes just to get there AFTER we parked the vehicle. It was insane. When Ange came out, I remember Sherri making comments on her symmetry and muscle composition. I just knew she looked awesome, but I also knew how hard she worked in the gym and with her diet. I wasn't at all shocked by the idea that she looked the best up there out of any of the girls in her class. Those girls looked great too, but I knew she would win. I just thought it was an obvious fact to everyone, Ange, Tammy and Sherri included. What was to be nervous about.?Hard work and having the world's best bod wins shows... Seemed pretty straight forward to me, so when she was first call out, I wasn't surprised (not that that meant anything to me at the time).

When she was done, Ange and Tammy came down to sit with us. I was in awe at how a person looked with that colour on and that the human body could be controlled so well to make someone look so amazing.Guys and girls with this dark colour and defined muscle were everywhere!  I think it was the first time it ever dawned on me that getting this far was a true feat!   After listening in on Ange and Tammy's show talk and picture review, I began to realize that she didn't win every show and was not the shoe in that I thought. All of these girls had competed in big shows and were winners from different shows. Having qualified to compete in this show was a pretty big deal. Winning would be huge! 

Friday was even more of a shocker day for me. Sherri and I were on or own as Ange was prepping for Saturday's final with Tammy's help. I had no idea what an ordeal this was either, but that's a whole other story! Sherri and I walked in to the Arnold Expo and it was a SEA OF PEOPLE! There were booths from every major nutrition and supplement company on the planet. They were huge displays with music, free samples and fitness industry celebs. The first person we see is Jay Cutler. I was wildly nudging Sherri with a very puzzled look on my face asking the question, "Who the heck is THAT?"

The answer was Mr. Olympia. This guy was maybe 5'9 and had to be 300 lbs! I had never seen such a thing. I was in for a show alright. As we made our way through the expo, we got to see Ronnie Coleman, Flex Wheeler, Jamie Eason, Ava Cowan, Tosca Reno, Robert Kennedy, Ray Lewis, Rampage Jackson, Randy Couture, Lou Ferrigno and many of the world's greatest fitness superstars. It was nuts. We had a million protein samples, tanning lotion, magazines, books, protein powders, shakers, and keychains. I talked to absolutely everyone. By the time we got back to the hotel, we were beat. We went to show the girls our free swag and hit the sheets because we had an early morning. We were going to take our little figure friend to the convention center because it was supposed to rain, and rain and ProTan, don't mix! 

The story of Ange's final is an excellent one, and one I promise to share very soon, but I don't want to make this one too long. I just think that if you ever get the chance to make it for the Arnold, you should go. It's so awesome and Columbus has amazing shopping and restaurants. Th experience is like nothing you will ever find anywhere else, and it's a really cool place for me because it's where some of m 

I gave a little teaser for Ange's part in the 2011 Arnold Classic, but I will save the rest of the story for an entry coming soon. I just thought that I should give a little prelude to the excellence that is the Arnold. I'm sad that I won't be going to the expo this year, but we will be watching the show from bodybuilding.com on our TV. We invited the crew over, and we will reunite to watch. Sherri, Tammy, Ange and I will be drinking wine and watching the competition from the living room, cheering on Erin Stern for figure and Oksana Grishina for fitness crowns.

If you ever get the chance to experience this, you have to go. It's insane to see all of the fitness industry in one room. If you're not sure that you would like it, take it from a person who had never really witnessed a real show before. I have since been to Montreal and Cleveland to help with show prep and cheer on my friend and am planning to make the trips again this year to where ever the shows take us.

The really awesome part is that this show was where some true friendships began... Fitness brings people together! Ange, Sherri, Tammy and I  had some times I'm sure none of us will ever forget! I hope that everyone who is making the show this year has a wicked time. Can't wait to hear all of your stories, but you will have a hard time beating our trip to the 2011 Arnold! We'll be looking for you in the audience!

Eating Your Heart Out...

Sometimes life is tough. Things seem to be coming together and life is going the way you want it to, but as soon as one thing falls out of place, it sets off a chain reaction. For me anyway, it seems to start out with one thing that I just can't seem to get a handle on. It could be work related, an issue with a friend, relationship struggles or sometimes even a small issue, but once it's festered it's way into my reality, it's a conquer or be conquered situation.

I guess I seem to most people as pretty well put together and for the most part, I believe that to be true. I can usually get a good grasp on a problem and deal with it well. I think I have a pretty high emotional IQ, which I learned about the other day while Ange was preparing for her class and we were arguing about which one of us was the least emotionally challenged.

As we made fun of eachothers emotional inadequacies, ranging anywhere from one of our hot tempers, to the others lack of communication in the face of a problem, to either of our personal drama that may arise from time to time,  I came to the sure realization that everyone in the world is, at some point or another, emotionally unstable. Some people just mask it better than others.

Some people yell, cry, fight, break things, lock themselves away from everyone else, some talk about it, some don't... I eat! I am among some of the world's emotional eaters. Nothing a little pasta, chips, cake, anything fried, anything chocolate or with peanut butter, or generally anything one should try to have in small portions from time to time, wouldn't fix!

When I have a problem, my first thought is always on food. Food is what makes me feel better! Except it doesn't make me feel better at all! it reminds me of Fat Bastard's scene in Austin Powers. Ignore the firs and last part, but anyone who is an emotional eater will appreciate this one!

 This video makes people laugh, but there is a very true element to it. Most people who are emotional eaters can tell you, when something is wrong and all you can think about is what the next thing you can eat is, your weight can get out of control quickly. Your next problem really is that you eat because you're unhappy and you're unhappy because you're overweight (I hate the word fat, it always sounds so condescending). You feel down on yourself and the fastest and surest comfort is in a cupboard or fridge somewhere.

Food never lets you down... but when we think about it, is that really even true? When you're in your logical state of mind, you know that's an outrageous statement, but put me in an emotional crisis and I would love nothing more than to go back and forth from sweet to salty until I feel like I've adequately swallowed my problems away. This is when you have to get down to the bottom of yourself and talk your way out of it. Think before you eat!

Is having a chocolate bar, followed by a half bag of chips, followed by a bowl of ice cream, followed by whatever other food you can find REALLY going to make this fight with your (insert problematic person here) go away? I think not. I think (call it an educated guess) it will only make it worse. You will do this and then the rest of your life will start spinning out of control right in front of your eyes because now, you are not only unhappy with said person, you are PISSED at yourself, and there's nothing like a little self destruction via food to let yourself know JUST how mad you are... Bad cycle.

The good news? Well, once you have figured out your own craziness, you can deal with it. It's truly craziness and I think you have to realize that in order to try and patch things up with #1. It's NOT normal, despite the fact that it is common, to eat your troubles away. Don't let people around you tell you otherwise. 

Next, you have to take responsibility. It's hard to break this habit. I still often find myself getting up an checking through the kitchen at the first signs of stress. The difference is now, before I reach for whatever I can get my hands on, I remember that the answers to my problems are not inside that box of cookies or bag of chips. The bottom of the ice cream container does not contain all of life's truths contrary to popular belief! Trust me, I've reached the bottoms of my fair share, and there is no magic fortune cookie!

I have found that when this happens, I have to first tell myself to step away from the food, then I ask myself, "Are you really hungry?" Most of the time, the answer is no, and I find something else to do. Go take a bath, go for a walk, do something that will make the food inaccessible to you for a little while. That's all you need. The need for comfort food will pass. You have to talk about what's eating you instead of trying to eat it... Identify your stresses and knock them  out before they get to you. You're sronger than you think, even when it comes to battling yourself!

On a side note, when you're looking for a place you can stop in and get yourself some healthy food at a good price in a hurry, come to Bossy's. I just added a whole new section of wraps and salads along with smoothies and protein shakes.... I'm not making a shameless plug, just a thoughtful suggestion!  Fine, it's a thoughtful plug, or maybe a shameless suggestion! Either way, it's good tasting healthy food!

2007 was a BaD yEaR!!!!

Friends who are close to me have more than likely heard me say "2007 was a bad year." This is usually followed by a head shake and a smile because 2007 was the year I was my heaviest. The head shake is for obvious reasons, but the smile is because after this statement is made, I usually have to show people the pictures of 2007. Friends, co-workers, and even some family members are always responding by telling me that they can't remember me 50 lbs heavier.


50 lbs is a lot of weight. It's heard for me to even admit that I was that much heavier. Just last week, I was at the Group Health Center and had to go to the x-ray department... this is where I used to work in 2007.


As I approach the desk, I immediately recognize the face of the woman behind it. Judy and I used to work together. I go up to chat with her and we talk about my new business venture, how things are going, her grandchildren, and then it hits her. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?" She looks like she's been struck by an intense revelation, and I begin to sweat. "What do you mean?" Although I am pretty sure that I know what she means, I hold out hope that maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she hasn't noticed how much weight I've lost. "Come over here and let me see you... My God! How much weight have you lost? You look great!"


To someone else, this may be flattering. I hate it. In no way do I mean to be offensive to anyone who has said this to me over the years. I truly do appreciate your compliments and I understand that you genuinely are congratulating me on a job well done, but it makes me feel more embarassed than proud. People are always telling me that I should be proud of how far I've come, but I always think that I never should have been that heavy to begin with. This always reminds me that I allowed myself to become so unhealthy, so sedentary, and so careless with my own body that I went from being an athlete who was in great shape to a couch potato who smashed any food in sight without so much as a thought about it... NOT GOOD! 




Me in 2007, the one on the left 

This being said, I realize that it took a lot of hard work to get myself to where I am today. For that hard work, I congratulate myself. I congratulate myself for taking the first steps toward living a better life all the way back in January of 2009, but most of all I congratulate myself for keeping it up and learning how to make better choices and for gaining control of my life.

Me about 6 monhs ago stomping grapes! 
Only full body picture I could find 

Now on to why I am embarassed. I think the true reason is that for as hard as you have to work to take the weight off, you also have to work pretty hard to put it on. The statement about weight being easy to put on and hard to take off is BULL to me. I know what you have to do to gain 40 lbs or so. You have to ALLOW it to happen. You have to let yourself go. You have to think so little of yourself that you don't ever think of how you are treating your body because you do not care.


Every bag of chips I ate, every stop at McDonald's, every request for extra mayonaise and every bit of baking I filled my face with was a conscious decision on my part. I always decided that it was okay. I constantly told myself, "Well, you've come this far, what are you going to do about it now? Might as well enjoy yourself. You've waited this long, the diet can wait until Monday. You deserve this last piece of cake. Once this diet starts, you'll never have cake again!" But then it's a friend's birthday, or Christmas is coming up and no one can diet in December, or you're not feeling well, the list goes on and on and it's a year later, you're far heavier than you want to be, and the beginning of that diet is nowhere in sight!


These are concepts that only people who have battled with their weight can understand. If you think I'm nuts, consider yourself lucky! That means you've never had to battle with being unhappy with your weight. I'm sure there have been other things, but you've steered clear of this one because anyone with weight loss issues has felt this way... Or maybe you just haven't admitted it to yourself yet. I went through that phase too. I convinced myself that I was totally fIne with the way I looked and felt. Admitting that you're not satisfied is probably the hardest part, but as you begin to lose the weight you will realize it is also the most satisfying. For me it meant that I got to show myself what I was really capable of and I continue to do that today. For anyone who is thinking about making a positive change in diet and exercise, please know that this feels WAY better than any food can taste!

So 2007 was a bad year because I allowed it to be, and 2009 was the beginning of a kick ass year because I made it that way, and 2012 is going to be my best year yet. Do what you want... but make it what you REALLY want! And start RIGHT NOW! Even if you ate donuts, cookies, bacon, sausage and belgian waffles with extra whipped cream for breakfast, don't let it wait another day. It has to start somewhere.... Let it be right now! Don't wait for "Monday" to come. As for those of you who have begun, keep it up. There are bumps in the road, but nothing can be bad enough to let you go back down a path of destruction against yourself with food as the main weapon! Keep rockin' it out! Results will come and that is AWESOME!


As for me, I'm still mad at myself for letting my weight get so out of control, but I'm proud that I have decided to continue the journey and I know that getting from where I was to where I am right now has changed me as a person. It helped me to see what I am really made of and who I really am, so for that I am pretty thankful. I have also realized that you have to dig really deep sometimes and go through some pretty crappy stuff to get what you really want, but the stuff that's really worth it is never easy.

You Can't Call Me THAT

Until recently I would have had a difficult time thinking on the spot about a bad quality in myself... and that's not because I think I'm perfect by any means, but because it's difficult to think of. Try it. Think, if a stranger asked you what your worst quality is, what is your response? Mine, I now know, is that I can be inconsistent.

I have been one of these people who sets their mind to something, goes full force at it, hits a bump in the road and sort of fades away. I didn't ever think this of myself until I was saying that I wanted to lose this weight and going on and on about how I am always trying and I don't know why it's not happening... blah, blah, blah... Ange pipes up, being the excellent roomie that she is, and says "Your problem is you're too inconsistent." Just like that...BANG. At first I was offended. How could someone say I was inconsistent? "What do you mean?" was the only response I could muster up. "Well, you eat well, you work out, you sleep well, have your cheats, keep on a good schedule and then you don't. You stop. You stop putting yourself first."

It didn't take me long to ponder this statement. I always put someone or something ahead of myself whether it's my family, a friend, my dog, the business, there's always something that goes ahead. I think that I'm being selfish by going to the gym instead f hitting up dinner at my mom's, or if I'm talking to a friend who's having a rough day and I only have an hour, I don't call them back and go do my thing.... I listen and chat it out. I'm not saying these are bad things either, but when you allow it to happen too often, it takes a toll on goals you may have set for yourself.

It is true that success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out...but what happens when I can't make time? In the past, I would feel awful about it and forget about what I had been trying to achieve, immediately throwing in the towel and chalking it all up to myself being a huge failure. Let my fear of failure take over and instead of picking myself up after I stumble and allowing myself the opportunity to fail.

 Now I find that if I don't have the time, I switch my days off, or if I cheat at a time that I shouldn't, I just continue to eat clean instead of throwing it all out the window. It sounds easy, but it's not. My mind is a weird place! Failure is a hard thing for me to face and when you're as hard on yourself as I am, an extra scoop of peanut butter or skipping a workout can mean game over! I am learning to get over that. The fears that have consumed me were once what caused me to fail without me even knowing it!

Consistency is huge. Keep doing the small things and they will add up. Congratulate yourself for passing on dessert or making it to the gym 4 times this week. Hold yourself accountable for your own actions as well, but also remember that we're all human. Mistakes happen and we all fall off of the path we have set out for ourselves, but sticking to it even when it's tough is what will lead to the ultimate prize. No one said it would be easy... Just remember that it will be worth it!

Maybe from now on I will have a hard time thinking of my worst quailty again... Look out inconsistency, I'm coming for you!

A Girl's Revolution!

I love how many people have commented on this blog. The new fitness quotes, inspirational sayings, a new found confidence in some of the people who I know are reading, private messages filled with praise and encouragement for my own journey. It's pretty awesome to know that I'm not just some person who has some weight to lose, wasting her time writing about chasing a goal and it's obstacles. So to everyone reading this, thank you and after a short time off, I will continue to write often. Your support and encouragement has kept me away from many bricks of cheese! For any haters, thanks for reading too.... You know you secretly await my blog posts!

For Christmas, I went online and bought 3 "Strong is the New Skinny" hooded long sleeve shirts and 3 keychains which I had engraved to read "Sisters in Iron". One for Ange, one for Tammy, and a little present for myself. A congratulations of sorts for being able to be in such an elite little group. It's not often someone can say they get the chance to swap fitness tips with 2 figure competitors! I'm pretty lucky that way. These things were my little way of showing my appreciation for being invited for workouts, road trips, dinners, and being shown by 2 very capable women that STRONG really is the new skinny.

Looking around the Facebook pages, I have seen so many people posting things promoting this women's fitness revolution. It's amazing. I no longer see posts with pictures of fashion models, but posts of fitness models! Real women who are NOT starving themselves to achieve a near death look. Finally, I think we are coming around to show the young girls of today that being strong and healthy is attractive. I found this little tidbit while surfing the internet this morning.

While most children who develop eating disorders are between 11 and 13, studies have shown that 80% of 3rd through 6th graders are dissatisfied with their bodies or their weight and by age 9 somewhere between 30 and 40% of girls have already been on a diet. Between ages 10 and 16, the statistic jumps to 80%. Many eating disorder experts attribute this behavior to the effects of cultural expectations. Unnatural ideas of beauty bombard our little girls and teens for as long as they can remember, they need to know that they do not have to be as thin as bread sticks to be sexy or beautiful!

Perhaps young women will find  more support in seeing photos of Oksana Grishina, Miryah Scott, Jamie Eason, Ava Cowan, Nicole Wilkins, Erin Stern, or a few of our own Sault Ste Marie born and raised fit chicks like Angela DeFrancesco or Vanessa Pipoli who look healthy and fit as opposed to the Paris Hiltons, Olsen Twins, or Kate Middletons whose frighteningly skeletal bodies have been plastered everywhere for impressionable people to "admire". Society may be making a positive turn and I have to say, I love it!

So mothers out there, support and encourage your daughters. There is enough negativity in the world that you really don't need to bring your own daughters down. Raise them up, let them know how beautiful they are. Encourage healthy choices, exercise, positive relationships, and most of all, be a role model. It's amazing the impact one person can have on another, so choose to be a positive influence and make your daughters strong!

Today I saw a friend of mine post a pretty awesome picture of Oksana Grishina, which inspired this whole rant.

Pretty awesome! This girl is a fitness pro who I had the pleasure of seeing perform live last year on the Arnold stage. I hope more young girls, women, and all people start to take more from what one can do when they put their mind to it and how amazing the human body actually is, and stop focusing on how much we can hurt outrselves by trying to get down under 100 lbs! Check this out. It's Oksana's Arnold performance and it's worth your 3 minutes. This chick is BAD ASS!

In the end, we can't all be fitness pro's or models, but do your best for yourself. Be your best every day. Get better, get stronger reach for your goals. That's beautiful!

I'm down 4.7 lbs... also beautiful! Slow and steady, but awesome anyway!