The Arnold is Coming!!!

I can't believe it's here again! Last year at this time, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I agreed to go on a trip with my friend Sherri to see my trainer, Ange compete in the Arnold Classic. She would be travelling with her friend Tammy, whom I had never even met before. Not to mention, I had only ever been to a figure show once in my life and it was when I was 15, here in the Sault to watch my friend Christina compete... I can now tell you, this was not at all the same.

I had been training with Ange for a few months when she told me she wouldn't be able to train me for a week in March because she would be competing in the Arnold Classic in Columbus, Ohio. I thought this was great. Go to Columbus and win a show. That's how it works. I just thought Ange's physique was above and beyond anything anyone else could do.... the thought never even crossed my mind that she ever lost. The only knowledge I had of her experience was that she won the WBFF World Championships, which to me, logically meant she was voted best body in the world, and that she was a kick ass personal trainer. When Ange nonchalantly told me she was going to compete in this show, my thought was, ROAD TRIP maybe I should go watch.

After a short conference with Sherri, we were in. She was super excited and couldn't believe that I would choose such a phenomenal event to be my first real show watching experience. All I knew was that I was going to go watch my friend win the Arnold. What more did I need to know? How crazy could this be?

People kept telling me how amazing it was that I would be going to the Arnold and getting to see a real Pro Show. The whole time I thought to  myself, "We probably won't even go. Why would I want  to go see some other girls compete. We'll watch Ange, then head out for drinks and dinner. Solid trip."

Boy was I wrong. This is the mecca of sporting events! Over 16000 athletes compete in events from Stongman to table tennis, to armwrestling and crossfit, fitness, figure and bodybuilding, kids boxing.... You name it, it's in this massive complex of athleticism! It's amazing. Over 130000 people attend the Arnold each year!

I went to the prejudging for the amateur fitness, figure and bikini on Thursday night to watch Ange. We had to walk for about 10 minutes just to get there AFTER we parked the vehicle. It was insane. When Ange came out, I remember Sherri making comments on her symmetry and muscle composition. I just knew she looked awesome, but I also knew how hard she worked in the gym and with her diet. I wasn't at all shocked by the idea that she looked the best up there out of any of the girls in her class. Those girls looked great too, but I knew she would win. I just thought it was an obvious fact to everyone, Ange, Tammy and Sherri included. What was to be nervous about.?Hard work and having the world's best bod wins shows... Seemed pretty straight forward to me, so when she was first call out, I wasn't surprised (not that that meant anything to me at the time).

When she was done, Ange and Tammy came down to sit with us. I was in awe at how a person looked with that colour on and that the human body could be controlled so well to make someone look so amazing.Guys and girls with this dark colour and defined muscle were everywhere!  I think it was the first time it ever dawned on me that getting this far was a true feat!   After listening in on Ange and Tammy's show talk and picture review, I began to realize that she didn't win every show and was not the shoe in that I thought. All of these girls had competed in big shows and were winners from different shows. Having qualified to compete in this show was a pretty big deal. Winning would be huge! 

Friday was even more of a shocker day for me. Sherri and I were on or own as Ange was prepping for Saturday's final with Tammy's help. I had no idea what an ordeal this was either, but that's a whole other story! Sherri and I walked in to the Arnold Expo and it was a SEA OF PEOPLE! There were booths from every major nutrition and supplement company on the planet. They were huge displays with music, free samples and fitness industry celebs. The first person we see is Jay Cutler. I was wildly nudging Sherri with a very puzzled look on my face asking the question, "Who the heck is THAT?"

The answer was Mr. Olympia. This guy was maybe 5'9 and had to be 300 lbs! I had never seen such a thing. I was in for a show alright. As we made our way through the expo, we got to see Ronnie Coleman, Flex Wheeler, Jamie Eason, Ava Cowan, Tosca Reno, Robert Kennedy, Ray Lewis, Rampage Jackson, Randy Couture, Lou Ferrigno and many of the world's greatest fitness superstars. It was nuts. We had a million protein samples, tanning lotion, magazines, books, protein powders, shakers, and keychains. I talked to absolutely everyone. By the time we got back to the hotel, we were beat. We went to show the girls our free swag and hit the sheets because we had an early morning. We were going to take our little figure friend to the convention center because it was supposed to rain, and rain and ProTan, don't mix! 

The story of Ange's final is an excellent one, and one I promise to share very soon, but I don't want to make this one too long. I just think that if you ever get the chance to make it for the Arnold, you should go. It's so awesome and Columbus has amazing shopping and restaurants. Th experience is like nothing you will ever find anywhere else, and it's a really cool place for me because it's where some of m 

I gave a little teaser for Ange's part in the 2011 Arnold Classic, but I will save the rest of the story for an entry coming soon. I just thought that I should give a little prelude to the excellence that is the Arnold. I'm sad that I won't be going to the expo this year, but we will be watching the show from bodybuilding.com on our TV. We invited the crew over, and we will reunite to watch. Sherri, Tammy, Ange and I will be drinking wine and watching the competition from the living room, cheering on Erin Stern for figure and Oksana Grishina for fitness crowns.

If you ever get the chance to experience this, you have to go. It's insane to see all of the fitness industry in one room. If you're not sure that you would like it, take it from a person who had never really witnessed a real show before. I have since been to Montreal and Cleveland to help with show prep and cheer on my friend and am planning to make the trips again this year to where ever the shows take us.

The really awesome part is that this show was where some true friendships began... Fitness brings people together! Ange, Sherri, Tammy and I  had some times I'm sure none of us will ever forget! I hope that everyone who is making the show this year has a wicked time. Can't wait to hear all of your stories, but you will have a hard time beating our trip to the 2011 Arnold! We'll be looking for you in the audience!

Eating Your Heart Out...

Sometimes life is tough. Things seem to be coming together and life is going the way you want it to, but as soon as one thing falls out of place, it sets off a chain reaction. For me anyway, it seems to start out with one thing that I just can't seem to get a handle on. It could be work related, an issue with a friend, relationship struggles or sometimes even a small issue, but once it's festered it's way into my reality, it's a conquer or be conquered situation.

I guess I seem to most people as pretty well put together and for the most part, I believe that to be true. I can usually get a good grasp on a problem and deal with it well. I think I have a pretty high emotional IQ, which I learned about the other day while Ange was preparing for her class and we were arguing about which one of us was the least emotionally challenged.

As we made fun of eachothers emotional inadequacies, ranging anywhere from one of our hot tempers, to the others lack of communication in the face of a problem, to either of our personal drama that may arise from time to time,  I came to the sure realization that everyone in the world is, at some point or another, emotionally unstable. Some people just mask it better than others.

Some people yell, cry, fight, break things, lock themselves away from everyone else, some talk about it, some don't... I eat! I am among some of the world's emotional eaters. Nothing a little pasta, chips, cake, anything fried, anything chocolate or with peanut butter, or generally anything one should try to have in small portions from time to time, wouldn't fix!

When I have a problem, my first thought is always on food. Food is what makes me feel better! Except it doesn't make me feel better at all! it reminds me of Fat Bastard's scene in Austin Powers. Ignore the firs and last part, but anyone who is an emotional eater will appreciate this one!

 This video makes people laugh, but there is a very true element to it. Most people who are emotional eaters can tell you, when something is wrong and all you can think about is what the next thing you can eat is, your weight can get out of control quickly. Your next problem really is that you eat because you're unhappy and you're unhappy because you're overweight (I hate the word fat, it always sounds so condescending). You feel down on yourself and the fastest and surest comfort is in a cupboard or fridge somewhere.

Food never lets you down... but when we think about it, is that really even true? When you're in your logical state of mind, you know that's an outrageous statement, but put me in an emotional crisis and I would love nothing more than to go back and forth from sweet to salty until I feel like I've adequately swallowed my problems away. This is when you have to get down to the bottom of yourself and talk your way out of it. Think before you eat!

Is having a chocolate bar, followed by a half bag of chips, followed by a bowl of ice cream, followed by whatever other food you can find REALLY going to make this fight with your (insert problematic person here) go away? I think not. I think (call it an educated guess) it will only make it worse. You will do this and then the rest of your life will start spinning out of control right in front of your eyes because now, you are not only unhappy with said person, you are PISSED at yourself, and there's nothing like a little self destruction via food to let yourself know JUST how mad you are... Bad cycle.

The good news? Well, once you have figured out your own craziness, you can deal with it. It's truly craziness and I think you have to realize that in order to try and patch things up with #1. It's NOT normal, despite the fact that it is common, to eat your troubles away. Don't let people around you tell you otherwise. 

Next, you have to take responsibility. It's hard to break this habit. I still often find myself getting up an checking through the kitchen at the first signs of stress. The difference is now, before I reach for whatever I can get my hands on, I remember that the answers to my problems are not inside that box of cookies or bag of chips. The bottom of the ice cream container does not contain all of life's truths contrary to popular belief! Trust me, I've reached the bottoms of my fair share, and there is no magic fortune cookie!

I have found that when this happens, I have to first tell myself to step away from the food, then I ask myself, "Are you really hungry?" Most of the time, the answer is no, and I find something else to do. Go take a bath, go for a walk, do something that will make the food inaccessible to you for a little while. That's all you need. The need for comfort food will pass. You have to talk about what's eating you instead of trying to eat it... Identify your stresses and knock them  out before they get to you. You're sronger than you think, even when it comes to battling yourself!

On a side note, when you're looking for a place you can stop in and get yourself some healthy food at a good price in a hurry, come to Bossy's. I just added a whole new section of wraps and salads along with smoothies and protein shakes.... I'm not making a shameless plug, just a thoughtful suggestion!  Fine, it's a thoughtful plug, or maybe a shameless suggestion! Either way, it's good tasting healthy food!

2007 was a BaD yEaR!!!!

Friends who are close to me have more than likely heard me say "2007 was a bad year." This is usually followed by a head shake and a smile because 2007 was the year I was my heaviest. The head shake is for obvious reasons, but the smile is because after this statement is made, I usually have to show people the pictures of 2007. Friends, co-workers, and even some family members are always responding by telling me that they can't remember me 50 lbs heavier.


50 lbs is a lot of weight. It's heard for me to even admit that I was that much heavier. Just last week, I was at the Group Health Center and had to go to the x-ray department... this is where I used to work in 2007.


As I approach the desk, I immediately recognize the face of the woman behind it. Judy and I used to work together. I go up to chat with her and we talk about my new business venture, how things are going, her grandchildren, and then it hits her. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?" She looks like she's been struck by an intense revelation, and I begin to sweat. "What do you mean?" Although I am pretty sure that I know what she means, I hold out hope that maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she hasn't noticed how much weight I've lost. "Come over here and let me see you... My God! How much weight have you lost? You look great!"


To someone else, this may be flattering. I hate it. In no way do I mean to be offensive to anyone who has said this to me over the years. I truly do appreciate your compliments and I understand that you genuinely are congratulating me on a job well done, but it makes me feel more embarassed than proud. People are always telling me that I should be proud of how far I've come, but I always think that I never should have been that heavy to begin with. This always reminds me that I allowed myself to become so unhealthy, so sedentary, and so careless with my own body that I went from being an athlete who was in great shape to a couch potato who smashed any food in sight without so much as a thought about it... NOT GOOD! 




Me in 2007, the one on the left 

This being said, I realize that it took a lot of hard work to get myself to where I am today. For that hard work, I congratulate myself. I congratulate myself for taking the first steps toward living a better life all the way back in January of 2009, but most of all I congratulate myself for keeping it up and learning how to make better choices and for gaining control of my life.

Me about 6 monhs ago stomping grapes! 
Only full body picture I could find 

Now on to why I am embarassed. I think the true reason is that for as hard as you have to work to take the weight off, you also have to work pretty hard to put it on. The statement about weight being easy to put on and hard to take off is BULL to me. I know what you have to do to gain 40 lbs or so. You have to ALLOW it to happen. You have to let yourself go. You have to think so little of yourself that you don't ever think of how you are treating your body because you do not care.


Every bag of chips I ate, every stop at McDonald's, every request for extra mayonaise and every bit of baking I filled my face with was a conscious decision on my part. I always decided that it was okay. I constantly told myself, "Well, you've come this far, what are you going to do about it now? Might as well enjoy yourself. You've waited this long, the diet can wait until Monday. You deserve this last piece of cake. Once this diet starts, you'll never have cake again!" But then it's a friend's birthday, or Christmas is coming up and no one can diet in December, or you're not feeling well, the list goes on and on and it's a year later, you're far heavier than you want to be, and the beginning of that diet is nowhere in sight!


These are concepts that only people who have battled with their weight can understand. If you think I'm nuts, consider yourself lucky! That means you've never had to battle with being unhappy with your weight. I'm sure there have been other things, but you've steered clear of this one because anyone with weight loss issues has felt this way... Or maybe you just haven't admitted it to yourself yet. I went through that phase too. I convinced myself that I was totally fIne with the way I looked and felt. Admitting that you're not satisfied is probably the hardest part, but as you begin to lose the weight you will realize it is also the most satisfying. For me it meant that I got to show myself what I was really capable of and I continue to do that today. For anyone who is thinking about making a positive change in diet and exercise, please know that this feels WAY better than any food can taste!

So 2007 was a bad year because I allowed it to be, and 2009 was the beginning of a kick ass year because I made it that way, and 2012 is going to be my best year yet. Do what you want... but make it what you REALLY want! And start RIGHT NOW! Even if you ate donuts, cookies, bacon, sausage and belgian waffles with extra whipped cream for breakfast, don't let it wait another day. It has to start somewhere.... Let it be right now! Don't wait for "Monday" to come. As for those of you who have begun, keep it up. There are bumps in the road, but nothing can be bad enough to let you go back down a path of destruction against yourself with food as the main weapon! Keep rockin' it out! Results will come and that is AWESOME!


As for me, I'm still mad at myself for letting my weight get so out of control, but I'm proud that I have decided to continue the journey and I know that getting from where I was to where I am right now has changed me as a person. It helped me to see what I am really made of and who I really am, so for that I am pretty thankful. I have also realized that you have to dig really deep sometimes and go through some pretty crappy stuff to get what you really want, but the stuff that's really worth it is never easy.

You Can't Call Me THAT

Until recently I would have had a difficult time thinking on the spot about a bad quality in myself... and that's not because I think I'm perfect by any means, but because it's difficult to think of. Try it. Think, if a stranger asked you what your worst quality is, what is your response? Mine, I now know, is that I can be inconsistent.

I have been one of these people who sets their mind to something, goes full force at it, hits a bump in the road and sort of fades away. I didn't ever think this of myself until I was saying that I wanted to lose this weight and going on and on about how I am always trying and I don't know why it's not happening... blah, blah, blah... Ange pipes up, being the excellent roomie that she is, and says "Your problem is you're too inconsistent." Just like that...BANG. At first I was offended. How could someone say I was inconsistent? "What do you mean?" was the only response I could muster up. "Well, you eat well, you work out, you sleep well, have your cheats, keep on a good schedule and then you don't. You stop. You stop putting yourself first."

It didn't take me long to ponder this statement. I always put someone or something ahead of myself whether it's my family, a friend, my dog, the business, there's always something that goes ahead. I think that I'm being selfish by going to the gym instead f hitting up dinner at my mom's, or if I'm talking to a friend who's having a rough day and I only have an hour, I don't call them back and go do my thing.... I listen and chat it out. I'm not saying these are bad things either, but when you allow it to happen too often, it takes a toll on goals you may have set for yourself.

It is true that success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out...but what happens when I can't make time? In the past, I would feel awful about it and forget about what I had been trying to achieve, immediately throwing in the towel and chalking it all up to myself being a huge failure. Let my fear of failure take over and instead of picking myself up after I stumble and allowing myself the opportunity to fail.

 Now I find that if I don't have the time, I switch my days off, or if I cheat at a time that I shouldn't, I just continue to eat clean instead of throwing it all out the window. It sounds easy, but it's not. My mind is a weird place! Failure is a hard thing for me to face and when you're as hard on yourself as I am, an extra scoop of peanut butter or skipping a workout can mean game over! I am learning to get over that. The fears that have consumed me were once what caused me to fail without me even knowing it!

Consistency is huge. Keep doing the small things and they will add up. Congratulate yourself for passing on dessert or making it to the gym 4 times this week. Hold yourself accountable for your own actions as well, but also remember that we're all human. Mistakes happen and we all fall off of the path we have set out for ourselves, but sticking to it even when it's tough is what will lead to the ultimate prize. No one said it would be easy... Just remember that it will be worth it!

Maybe from now on I will have a hard time thinking of my worst quailty again... Look out inconsistency, I'm coming for you!

A Girl's Revolution!

I love how many people have commented on this blog. The new fitness quotes, inspirational sayings, a new found confidence in some of the people who I know are reading, private messages filled with praise and encouragement for my own journey. It's pretty awesome to know that I'm not just some person who has some weight to lose, wasting her time writing about chasing a goal and it's obstacles. So to everyone reading this, thank you and after a short time off, I will continue to write often. Your support and encouragement has kept me away from many bricks of cheese! For any haters, thanks for reading too.... You know you secretly await my blog posts!

For Christmas, I went online and bought 3 "Strong is the New Skinny" hooded long sleeve shirts and 3 keychains which I had engraved to read "Sisters in Iron". One for Ange, one for Tammy, and a little present for myself. A congratulations of sorts for being able to be in such an elite little group. It's not often someone can say they get the chance to swap fitness tips with 2 figure competitors! I'm pretty lucky that way. These things were my little way of showing my appreciation for being invited for workouts, road trips, dinners, and being shown by 2 very capable women that STRONG really is the new skinny.

Looking around the Facebook pages, I have seen so many people posting things promoting this women's fitness revolution. It's amazing. I no longer see posts with pictures of fashion models, but posts of fitness models! Real women who are NOT starving themselves to achieve a near death look. Finally, I think we are coming around to show the young girls of today that being strong and healthy is attractive. I found this little tidbit while surfing the internet this morning.

While most children who develop eating disorders are between 11 and 13, studies have shown that 80% of 3rd through 6th graders are dissatisfied with their bodies or their weight and by age 9 somewhere between 30 and 40% of girls have already been on a diet. Between ages 10 and 16, the statistic jumps to 80%. Many eating disorder experts attribute this behavior to the effects of cultural expectations. Unnatural ideas of beauty bombard our little girls and teens for as long as they can remember, they need to know that they do not have to be as thin as bread sticks to be sexy or beautiful!

Perhaps young women will find  more support in seeing photos of Oksana Grishina, Miryah Scott, Jamie Eason, Ava Cowan, Nicole Wilkins, Erin Stern, or a few of our own Sault Ste Marie born and raised fit chicks like Angela DeFrancesco or Vanessa Pipoli who look healthy and fit as opposed to the Paris Hiltons, Olsen Twins, or Kate Middletons whose frighteningly skeletal bodies have been plastered everywhere for impressionable people to "admire". Society may be making a positive turn and I have to say, I love it!

So mothers out there, support and encourage your daughters. There is enough negativity in the world that you really don't need to bring your own daughters down. Raise them up, let them know how beautiful they are. Encourage healthy choices, exercise, positive relationships, and most of all, be a role model. It's amazing the impact one person can have on another, so choose to be a positive influence and make your daughters strong!

Today I saw a friend of mine post a pretty awesome picture of Oksana Grishina, which inspired this whole rant.

Pretty awesome! This girl is a fitness pro who I had the pleasure of seeing perform live last year on the Arnold stage. I hope more young girls, women, and all people start to take more from what one can do when they put their mind to it and how amazing the human body actually is, and stop focusing on how much we can hurt outrselves by trying to get down under 100 lbs! Check this out. It's Oksana's Arnold performance and it's worth your 3 minutes. This chick is BAD ASS!

In the end, we can't all be fitness pro's or models, but do your best for yourself. Be your best every day. Get better, get stronger reach for your goals. That's beautiful!

I'm down 4.7 lbs... also beautiful! Slow and steady, but awesome anyway!

PAWsome Day

Today I had a total "Book of Awesome" thing happen to me! Actually, it was better than awesome, it was "PAWsome".



 Back in November, I took my "little boy" to have his picture taken by the amazing Curt O'Neil. Being completely honest, I never thought I would become one of the people who had their dogs photographed, but it happened. It started out as $10 to charity, and by the end of it I was flat broke and could hardly afford to buy my family Christmas presents because I spent all of my life's savings on pictures of my dog...Well, that might be a stretch, but I did grossly overspend in the dog portrait department! They were just all so cute, how could I not buy them all?

I had donated some canned goods which gave me a chance to win a free 16x24 canvas of Tytus, but since I never win anything, I thought nothing of it until I received an email from Curt hours after he had completed his PAWsome Booth shoots. The email, titled Congratulations, was sent to inform me that Tytus and I had indeed won the canvas! I was ecstatic! People would have thought I had won the lottery from my level of excitement. I was in the living room on the computer and Ange was in the kitchen having coffee and after reading the email I jumped up, made a huge gasping noise, let out a gigantic fist pump and exclaimed, "I always knew it buddy! You're a winner!"

Ange was perplexed by my statement, but not for long. I ran over to her and showed her the message on my phone. "He won! He was the cutest one there and so he won a canvas so we can put it in the living room!" This was a bold faced lie. It was a random draw, but I still think his cuteness had some sort of effect on the outcome. Ange's laughter quickly turned to a sort of a look of panic. Not wanting to burst my bubble, and sort of trying to pump me up, she said "You mean a canvas for YOUR bedroom. It would look waaaaay better in there than in the living room, don't you think?" Ridiculous! How  would every guest who came to our house see this wonderful portrait if it wasn't properly displayed as the focus of the living room?

As I danced with the dog and reassured him that I would love him no matter what happened, I just always knew he was a winner at heart, I anxiously thought about his pictures and how amazing they would be.

When the pictures became available online, it took me WEEKS to decide which ones I would order (or in my case, which ones I wouldn't order) and even longer to figure out which one would be the canvas. What a tough decision. Should I choose one with his Christmas sweater, or one with the reindeer antlers, or should I choose a more natural photo? Excited Tytus, or sweet Tytus, angry Tytus... so many options. At one point, I actually considered getting 2 canvases, but the $300 price tag was a bit too much! I made my choice on the one that I thought was an absolute classic. Something that I told myself, I would buy in a store even if he wasn't my dog, if I saw it on a canvas because it was so amazing!

My pictures came in, but the canvas was delayed. I made Christmas cards, showed my family and friends his pictures, but sill didn't have the "piece de resistance", the canvas.

Today I got the email. "Your canvas is in. I can drop it off to you at the bar if you're there." Excellent! I was so excited. Thoughts of how I would display it in the living room started runnning through my mind again, until Curt showed up.

I unwrapped the canvas and it is so perfect, I seriously almost cried. Now all I could think of was how to display it for Ange, Kieran and Jason to see, since Ange and I prepared dinner for the boys tonight! I walked in the door and unfortunately Ange was here, so no surprising her, but I placed the life sized canvas near eye level for Kieran and Jay to see as soon as they walked in the door! They, of course loved it, and probably partly think I'm nuts, but mostly, they loved it! I can't wait for others to come over and see it when I find a permanent spot for it in the living room!

I have a 16x24 canvas of Tytus in the living room. Now the house is a home. AWESOME... or should I say PAWsome!

THE CANVAS PHOTO